I Am
by baldwide
Summary: An older story of mine that I thought I'd post here. Harry's thoughts, and perspective on a few things in his life. I tried to put myself in Harry's shoes a few years back, and recently ran across the story again.


**A/N**  
This mental compilation is from Harry's perspective. It is short and straight to the point and it was something that I was very interested in writing. I've always tried to place myself in Harry's shoes to see his view on everything, especially the prophecy. Hope you enjoy, please R&amp;R.  
**End A/N**  
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It's dark out, just the way that I like it. I can't be seen, but from my window I can see it all. Then again, there really wasn't much _to_ see. Everything was the same, from the style of the house, to the typical care found in the drive.

"Yep, that's Privet Drive for you." I spoke aloud, surprising myself. For a moment, I had forgotten the sound of my voice, or even how to _use_ my voice. I had stayed locked in my room for the past four days, ignoring the world.

But, I liked that too. The night was perfect. My window, only centimeters thick, separated me from the downpour of rain that could be heard thundering against the roof. The rain, the darkness, the silence… that was all that I needed.

There is nothing better than being talked about, especially by those that really don't give a damn thing about you. That is how it has been throughout most of my life. To me it is quite pointless, and in a way quite idiotic. In no way does it enhance one's being or help them through their life. Nor does it allow a person any form of control over me. Or does it?

There has always been a question of exactly who I am. No one seems to have an answer that really encompasses my persona. My relatives, with all their hate, would say that I am selfish and weird, and that "my people" are a disgrace. They would say that my parents were drunks that had no lives and deserved to die. They would say that I was probably a waste of nine months and that I don't deserve the amount of effort they put into giving me a "loving" home. Ha! As if. My relatives would definitely say that life without me would be better, not just for them, but for the world. Yes, even those poor folks that never met me.

In all honesty, that has probably affected me more than I let on. To not know what it meant to be loved by the very people that should love you no matter what. It was a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Couple that with the some of the beatings by Dudley and Vernon, and you had the perfect recipe for loveless loner with no faith in himself. That's what I was. For every negative, though, there had to be a positive.

There are some that would call me the savior of the wizarding world, or a kid that has his nose in all the wrong places. If only they knew the full extent of some of the things that I have been through. Some would say that I am a "fake", and that I've lied in order to see more of the camera flashes. I would honestly like to know where my script is. There is a world of things that people would or could say about me, especially those that who don't necessarily like me.

However, barring all of the bad things, I do have friends. That still surprises me to this day. Growing up in a home where my _abnormalities_ could be a hindrance to society. It was weird to find people that saw my abnormalities and still embraced me. Even in a world of magic, I had to stand out…when all I ever really wanted was to fit in.

My friends, who have been through almost everything that I have experienced in my short wizarding experience, have always been there for me, even in the boring moments. When I had no faith in myself, they would tell me that no matter what, I can make it through. They would also probably say that life without me would not be the same, and that I have a great heart. They would never lose faith in my abilities, even when I've doubted them myself. My friends are truly great, especially when I am not.

Being a Gryffindor means that I am insanely brave, or as some would say foolishly courageous. Sometimes it is hard but as my friends have told me, I can never go wrong following my heart. They would be so very disappointed in the fact that I want to give up on myself sometimes, even when things seem to get better. However, some ties they just don't understand. Yes, we may argue, fuss, and fight but in the end we would do anything for each other. Sometimes, my friends are my only link to sanity. And yet they are not the only ones that would say good things about me. My parents, if they were alive, would probably be proud of my accomplishments. My friends and mentors believe in me no matter what, especially Albus Dumbledore.

Never before had I met a man that really believed in me, for me. Not for what I could do for him, or because of some threat; but, because like me, he has a pure heart, and a loving spirit. Dumbledore, can see hope where no one else can. He has in me, and that is enough for me to give my undying loyalty to him against any and all that would dare oppose him. Dumbledore has always told me that not many grown men could go through the many things that I have been through and live to tell the tale, or even have the strength to rush back into danger just to help other people. Dumbledore has always had faith in me, no matter what the situation is. What matters the most is that nothing could replace the feeling of having Albus Dumbledore come through the door and save you in the nick of time. Or the fear he inspires, even in the most powerful of foes. Or how he can be some calm when things seem all wrong. I want to be like him one day.

Sure, he has his faults. Sometimes he cares too much, as he once told me. But someone caring for me was the one thing that I truly yearned for all these years. Sometimes he can indeed be secretive, but at his age, is it better to be be sorry or to be careful? It's hard to answer that. He _was_ sorry that he put me with the Dursley's, and he _was_ sorry that it had to be me that fought Voldemort at the end. He _was_ sorry for Sirius' death, and in so way probably blames himself for it. For all of his powers, skills, and wisdom Albus Dumbledore is only human, and that is not something that I can truly be upset with him about. I don't have many people that I can trust, but I do believe in my heart that he is one of them.

I've gained and I've lost so much in my life. I lost my parents, and gained a pathetic excuse for a family. I lost my faith, and gained friends that gave it right back to me. I lost the world that I knew, only to be placed in another world, that was far richer, and yet far more deadly than the one before. I've faltered in my step, only to be picked up by those that truly believe in me. I gained a godfather, only to lose him to the same evil that ripped my parents away from me.

I've learned that throughout all of the different things that have been said to me, or about me, nothing mattered as much as what I thought of myself. There was a point in time where I became unsure of what was expected of me in life. I mean I was eleven years old and already someone wants to kill me. Nothing would have prepared me for anything that I have gone through during my stay at Hogwarts, both good and bad, the pain, the deaths, the murders, the victories, the first kiss, the truth, the lies, power, friendship, magic, and best of all: love. Through all of these things, I have learned who I am.

I am strong. I am brave. I am smart…well, sometimes. I am a believer. I am an orphan. I have people that truthfully care about me and my well-being. I am more than some poor little boy who lost his parents at the tender age of 1. I am more than some poor little boy that needs someone to look after him. I am definitely not helpless. I am a Gryffindor, through and through. And at my young age, I am more of a man then some of those twice my age. I am not just the savior of the world. I am more than a prophecy. I am not afraid of anything. I am not weak, but in fact I am quite powerful, maybe even being on the path to rival the power of Professor Dumbledore. However, my power does not lie in my magic, but in my love. I am more than someone's inappropriate. I am more than what is expected of me. I am the son of James and Lily Potter. I am Harry James Potter. I AM.

I couldn't cry any more. I wouldn't. There would be no more tears. I have a mission to accomplish, and a life to enjoy. I have a Dark Wizard to destroy. Not out of revenge, that would make me no better than him, but in order to protect my friends. I had to prepare, to get ready, to try to close the gap that we had between our experience. A daunting task, but surely not impossible. I couldn't run any more. There comes a time where you have to stop running, and face the fears that are pursuing you. Now was that time.

"I am coming for you Riddle. Mark my words." I spoke in a whisper. Hundreds of miles away, I could swear that I felt him wake up out of his slumber in a cold sweat. Good. It was time for the hunted to do the hunting.

I am Harry Potter.

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*A/N I hope you guys like this. I thought that this was something new and different then what other people have written, and what I have read. Please R&amp;R Thanks!* End A/N*


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